Guest post by Ian Craine: Ye Old Git’s Tale


Hello Everybody,

Roberta posted an absolutely beautiful account of how we came together but then she is absolutely beautiful in every way. I just wanted to tell my side of the story though. I’m ever so glad we met and for everything that has happened since but to begin with I did have grave misgivings. As I say Roberta is beautiful and in the prime of life and I am neither of those things. As she told you we’d been corresponding by email and getting to know each other that way. That does give a man the chance to present himself in the best light. But I could tell Roberta wanted us to meet. Well I did too but as I said there were those misgivings.

To be honest I felt like one of those contestants on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” who had got £8K in the bag and was wondering about trying for £16 but fearful he’d be left with a mere thousand. The £8000 represents the lovely email relationship I had with this beautiful lady who was so charming and clever and witty. The £16000 represented the possibility of doubling my happiness by having a real relationship with her. The £1000 (which I saw as the likeliest if not only outcome) would be to be left with just the memories of our lovely correspondence.

I had convinced myself that she wouldn’t like me in the flesh, that all my apparent charm online would count for nothing when she saw what I really looked like. Yes she had photographs (but as I had to tell her a man can become a dab hand with the Photoshop!!!). And it was a long time since I’d been in a proper relationship; I saw myself as a crusty and grumpy old bachelor. Relationships require emotional bonding not to mention sex. Was I any longer capable of either? There was another problem too- my flat. What young lady was going to feel at home there?

But Roberta was very insistent. Nothing was going to stop her finding out what I was really like. Probably as a result of my input she restricted her first (or only) visit to ten days and booked a hotel. That way if she didn’t stay at the airport and get the next flight home at the sight of me, she could at least have a pleasant enough time wandering around London on her own once she discovered the depths of my boringness on the Piccadilly line journey to the hotel.

She was as lovely in real life as in her photos and we seemed to be getting on though I still wasn’t convinced she wasn’t putting on an act. We booked her into the hotel. Then I took her to my flat with a view to cooking dinner for her. The flat! Up two flights of old stairs. What would she make of that? Nervously I put the key in the door and ushered her in. Had I scraped and scoured and washed all the bachelor boy dirt off the place? What about the kitchen? What about the food I would prepare?

But guess what? No you don’t have to because Roberta has already told you. Everything went fine, and continued to and still does get better and better. Isn’t life wonderful? My fears were groundless. So all you fellows wondering if the girl of your dreams but still the other side of a computer connection could possibly want you, have courage. And as my dear girl said you can’t always find true love next door. But he or she is out there somewhere; it’s up to you to find out where:


By Ian Craine

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